a happy cow is a contented cow. Happy cows come from California -that is, if you believe the commercials. I'm so not a happy cow right now. Not a productive cow, either. I'm stressed, depressed, and not lactating enough. It's really silly of me to think it's a competition, and that I'm being judged over the quantity of what I'm not producing, and I can't help feel bad over it.

It doesn't help that my girl may be coming home soon. What am I going to do once I'm respsonsible for her? I want to get a can of formula on hand so that at least I can supplement her feeds the moment she's home with me. Because I know I'm not going to produce anywhere near enough for her to eat, and I don't want her to go hungry.

I wish I knew the secret of convincing my body to make more milk. I wish that it was as simple as a 1-2-3 step program. People tell me that every body is different, and that I'm doing fine, and I'm NOT because I can't squeeze out enough per day to keep up with her right now...

Tired. Cranky. Depressed.