guilt cuts my heart
stronger the pain, the more I need it
cannot let it go
steals the words from my voice
I fear one day it will silence me
an accident
and a lost soul seeking shelter
found me there
he didn't mean to hurt me
somehow it makes it easier to bear
makes me hurt more
the pain sweeter
wrapping myself in that quiet victimhood
so that I can go on
so that life can continue in that way
comfort in the routine
in quiet days and nights
I will go to my daughter
mind shys away to see her
quiet, innocent, helpless
once I was that small
once I was that helpless
could not have earned the guilt
means that I am still innocent
that I have punished myself all this time
for nothing
in my heart crying
what a waste
all those years I could have lived
all these nights wracked with guilt
tears shed for sorrow
I am lost
I am hiding, wounded
nursing my grief
in silence