KittyCat is curled up on my lap right now, one little hand playing with my fingers on the keyboard and the other tucked comfortingly under my breast. She's all warm and cozy, with a full belly and heavy eyelids. A short while ago we were sitting in the rocking chair after her breakfast and her head was tucked up under my chin. She was fine where she was, and definately did not want to move.

It's the new baby smell. The soft little downy head snuggled up to my chin. The warm body pressed against mine and manuevering her way into my oversized sweater. It's the chubby little hands and the bright wide eyes that tell me: "This is Right."

I never dreamed that I'd be so happy being a mother. I never dreamed that this level of peace and happiness could be so sustainable. Despite the depression that's come into my life with a new intensity over the past year, I've been blessed with an equal level of joy to overcome it. The highs balance the lows, and all is well with my universe.

I want another one. I want another little blessing in my life. I want this feeling of love and trust to last forever. How could anyone not want this joy? It's incomprehensible to me.