Monday, November 14, 2005

“And now these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. And the greatest of these is Love.”

Strong words that sent a chill down my spine the first time I read them. Words that held an odd power over me even when I didn't believe that any of these would ever be a factor in my life. When my class was set this passage as our Bible memory work for the marking period, I would sometimes close my eyes at that verse. Ever after, I would turn them over in my mind whenever those traits seemed too unattainable for me.

Over the years I thought I had figured them out. Then I got married, and I faced a completely different set of fears from all those I had lived with before. I was in love, and even though the initial infatuation had passed I still wanted to cling to him. To keep safe in the life we had; it may not have been perfect. We were always broke, walking a fine line of debt and paychecks, and still I was afraid of change. I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to be left alone. So when he went off to war I married him, and I cried when I kissed him goodbye and drove away from the bus station.

Suddenly there was a whole new set of meanings in that verse. I had to have faith that he would return, that I would not be alone forever. I had hope that the future would bring us back together in a better place. I loved him. I never believed that love could conquer everything before; that winter I made myself believe. It does and it doesn't conquer. Everything hinges on supporting love with faith and hope. Also, it doesn't hurt if you're committed to somebody worthy of that love.

I found somebody worthy of me. I will spend the rest of my life working to make myself worthy of him.

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