Sunday, November 13, 2005

Who am I?

I'm a mother, and a wife, and a daughter, and a niece... I work with my hands. I quilt, and sew, and knit. These skills can help turn a house into a home. In the back of my mind I always wanted to be a homemaker, just as I am now. I've gone through so many changes since I first dreamed of being a grownup. Some dreams weren't healthy for me, and I learned to let them go. Others seemed too good for what I was, and through love and effort I let go of what was and embraced what I could be.

I'm happier now than I ever thought possible five years ago.

This morning I'm sitting here, wondering how I can transform my living space into something even better. After the furniture rearrangement, I'm starting to think things like "I need to get rid of some clutter." "I need to bake more." "I need to put my hair up more, and wear my makeup, and keep making an effort to look pretty."

Sometimes I feel bad that I'm not busy every hour of the day, like my foremothers were. Idle hands and the devil's work, and all that. Not today. This is the day of resting, after all, and not even my own grandmother could argue with that. So I'm going to refuse to feel guilty today. This is a beautiful day, and I should take a walk outside with KittyCat later on. I need to enjoy the time I have now, because it's not going to last.

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