Again, I feel like a wreck. Saw the docs today for my latest round of tests, I failed the first glucose screen. We expected that, so I'm not really upset. More concerned than upset. I mean, how many of these tests can I fail before they tell me not to have this baby? I'm in the home stretch now. It'll only get easier from this point.

Yesterday I was talking about that first deployment... It was hard, but the rewards were sweet. I learned a lot about myself. I really learned how to be independant for the first time in my life. It's one thing when you're on your own and single, but something else when you're on your own and partnered. I learned to stand on my own feet, make decisions without waffling, and deal with disasters without having the option of asking him to "fix it". I came to be more of the wife that he needed me to be. And in the end, it was even sweeter to be able to join him again.

But in any case, I'm rambling about it now. What I mean to write about tonight, right now, is that after learning how to be that independant and strong person, I have to deal with the fact that I'm not so strong or independant now. I have to lean on others for just about everything in my day. It's hard, especially now that I'm used to standing on my own. I still have moments when I'm convinced that I've failed at being a mother; the Munchkin won't even be born for a few months yet! I guess I should listen to what my friends keep saying. I'll be fine. I need to stop worrying so much and let them help me. That's what they're here for, that's why they care.