My grandmother passed this afternoon, at noon, with no pain and a lot of peace.

She'll be missed. A lot. The last of her generation, and the end of an era for me in some ways.

Nursing is more of a calling than a profession. Like anything worthy of being a calling, it's grown an entire culture. There are nurses who take the job home with them, those who live and breathe the caring. It's more than procedures, it's more than holding hands, it's getting through. I've been a patient more times than I can remember. I've seen my share of nurses- both ends of the spectrum from the ones who clashed with my own personality to the one I'll never forget, who I dubbed privately "LTJG Mary Poppins. Or Ann."

There's a nifty new site celebrating nurses. It's aboutScrubs. Not the show, it's a reference to the uniform that's become as indicative of a nurse as the tshirt and jeans uniform speaks of young adults- from college to the hanging out around the house casually on the weekend. One of the areas, showcasing stories of nurses in the field, spoke about preemies- and as everybody knows by now preemies are something that I am particularly connected to.

There are several good articles on this site as well. One on Nurses with disabilities, one dealing with prayer and patients. Is it okay in this world to pray with your patients? Is it a given that once a nurse suffers a disability that may result in the need for accomodations to be made in the workplace, her career is over?

I don't know if there's one right or wrong answer to any of it. But I do know that this is a site I found to be very well-done. Both in format and content, it remains easy on the eyes and the brain.

I love my little monkeys. They are adorable and delightful, even though they're a handful and more than a full time job for me. Even though I'd gladly beat my head against a brick wall from time to time because it would hurt less than the details of what we're currently going through on a daily basis.

Company coming over tonight and I'm looking forward to it. Getting the house whipped into shape for company also means creating a pleasant environment that I can try to maintain the rest of the week. Sweet. Calming. A place that I can happily unwind in when the children are at last tucked into bed at the end of the day and sound asleep without further incident.

These are wonderful days. The stress will pass. The joy will endure. I'm not going to remember the exhaustion that is making me reel on my feet. I will only remember the joy of sweet-smelling children sleeping on my lap, heads nodding over sippy cups, and the indescribable feeling I have when I see them curled up in bed with one finger pressed up against their lips.

It's an incredible feeling, watching the spring rain drip down into the flowerbed. When I drive through town I see lilacs blooming, trees, and azaleas. I see tulips. I see an unbelievable amount of flowering shrubs and trees that I remember from my childhood and to which I cannot put a name.

The damp creeps into my knees and makes me stiff all over, and I don't care because I can see the green in the earth. Last spring it was the green that came over the fields, frosting them with mint icing before the gray of winter turned into the brown of another dry and dusty summer. Spring was marked with drifts of cotton in the parking lots. Late summer marked with tumbleweeds. All seasons dry.

Joke I've heard frequently lately... if you've got a tan, you've been somewhere else. People don't tan on the island, they rust.

Don't know. Might be I'll enjoy rusting for a change. We're all adaptable beings. I'm looking for the best in our life here. Let's go with that.

Ah. May first. The First of May. Mayday. A holiday celebrating the spring, and planting, and the aboundant fruitfulness of the earth.

I may just be too cheery about the prospect. As always, it's payday, which puts me in a generally better mood. I'm planning my grocery trip. My darling husband has the day off so I have the car, which in turn means that I will be able to get over to the DMV at long last and trade my temp tags for real ones. Hallelujah. The title papers came in and went to the WA DMV last week. About time.

The children are happy to see their father home. Not as happy as he is to see them, I suspect. And there is the off chance that I will be granted the ability of the afternoon nap today. Oh, the Afternoon Nap. How I have lusted after it in my heart over the past couple of weeks.

Blood sugar is coming down, insulin is going in, and diet is coming into a new area. Interestingly enough, the diet portion is so much easier to do this time around. I've gotten past the worst of the all-carb, all the time, craving. I get hungry for veggies now. Salads. I'm trying to take a large chunk of my protein in a day from soy rather than animal-based (cause of the cholesterol, which is already high enough). Lots of fluids.

Have a great weekend. The sun is shining here on the island, and the tulips are blooming everywhere we look.