I am still waiting on a baby. Three and a half months after he was born, I'm still waiting on a baby. I want him home already! I want to pick him up and cuddle him and be spit up on and have exploding diapers at midnight.

You mothers out there who read this, you know how badly I want this kid home. Yes, I'm actually looking forward to his exploding diapers. I'm not quite insane over it yet, I refrained from slugging a nurse today. That sort of thing just doesn't look good on the bottom line.

It's an endless cycle. We've got another new tentative discharge date, and I'm scared to say it out loud for fear of jinxing ourselves. I'm scared of a lot of things tonight. I want my baby to come home.

I want to sit with my little girl and my little boy together; I want them both here next week when their father, my husband, gets the Procedure done. I want to move out of this endless holding pattern and get back to blogging funny things.

Soon. Soon I will have some laughter to share with all of you. Just not tonight.