Sunday, November 16, 2008

It doesn't matter that she won't look at me for hours at a stretch
because when she woke this afternoon it was my arms she ran to
My lap that she crawled into
My hands that she pulled across her belly to hold her

I stayed there, motionless, holding my daughter close to my heart
We waited for a few moments
Whatever shadows had disturbed her peace passed over us
She sighs. Moves her body around.

A small blond head looks up and she sees me
China blue eyes
Pieces of the sky, that morning she was born, were gifts from heaven
Her smiles reach her eyes. Light her face. My girl. Mine.

I see her now. I see her then.
My first preemie. Weeks spent sitting at her side watching the machines
Terrified to touch her
Now I'm hard pressed to stop touching her.

I touch her hair when she sits next to me
Her hands when she brings me books to read
In the kitchen I wash dishes and she comes to find me
Not looking at me, but pushing her body against my legs

She's my blue-eyed kitten
She's my heart. Like her brother. Like their father.
I could never have dreamed of this contentment
Tomorrow comes soon enough.

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