Wednesday, December 10, 2008

what I'm learning as a parent

#1. That all of my bestest female friends have 2 kids and a generous spirit of the "I told you so but I'm too nice to remind you that I've told you so"

#2. That all small kids bring home a bad case of the stomach flu to share with their younger siblings in a spirit of true generousity. The closer this is to a major holiday the better. Bonus points for infecting their mothers in the first round of vomiting, causing her to be knocking back shots of dayquil and praying that the adult diapers she had in the back of the linen closet will prove adequate to contain whatever spews from her while cleaning the children.

#3. When the inevitable messes occur at both ends, be grateful that the children are still in diapers that contain all messes or at the least give you less laundry to do.

and last but not least....

#4. The inner grace to avoid cursing out their husbands who are blessed with cast iron stomachs, who come home from TAD orders after a week away and dance right through the plague infecting your household without seeming to notice anything greater than the "weren't you supposed to pick up more (insert item here) today? And what are you making for dinner?"

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