Thursday, February 07, 2008

No, really, thank you to everyone for their continued support and prayers. From people on my forums, and the ones who check back through here for the news and to keep tabs on us- it's all been so supportive to hear. This helps me gather the strength to get up one more day with a positive outlook no matter how much my insides don't want to deal with it.

Like last night I lay awake for hours and hours thinking how my Robbie is not picking up on the feeds well at all, it seems, and this is now the only thing keeping him in the hospital, and I just wonder... is it going to happen easily or am I going to be fighting for his feeding the same way I've been fighting for my daughter's speech and naps for the whole of her life? This issue may be the Big One resulting from his prematurity, and if it is I will cope with that but this is definitely a Big One. So far not refluxing (thank God for small miracles) but just not eating. Eating is something I'll be struggling with constantly. Not like speech/language where I can throw up my hands for a day that seems too difficult and not be on my daughter's case and just love and snuggle her for endless hours. The eating will be an effort.

Right now I even feel fairly confident that I'll pick up whatever skills are needed to make it happen. I don't stress that I'll be capable of feeding him whether it's through a bottle or eventually breastfeeding -assuming my supply holds out that long. I just know that the support I've gotten until this point will continue and I'll see all those lovely pageviews climbing. It lets me know that I'm not invisible and I'm a real person after all.

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