Friday, February 01, 2008

You know, as a parent you spend so much time wondering if you're doing the right thing, so much time second-guessing yourself, and then you just have to keep on keeping on. Case in point: my daughter. Her early days were fraught with uncertainty for all of us. (Wow! I just used fraught! In an actual sentence!) Between feeds, reflux, development, and my own little issues, it was so easy to get lost in a cycle of never ending anxiety. I took every hour as it came, every day and every night, and it all sort of blended together in one big massive balancing act of laundry and doctor appointments. Now I'm inching my way closer to bringing a second child home with similar issues, and what the hell am I thinking?

Socks. Tiny little socks. Great big socks. I'm thinking about socks this morning, and bananas (you don't want to ask. Trust me on this one.) and I'm thinking about that call last night which is reminding me gently to get off my ass and do some more of this getting ready business.

See, they moved my Robbie again. For a micro preemie who hasn't gotten the hang of nipple-feeding reliably yet, this kid sure gets around a lot! He's now about 3 miles from me, in the local hospital, in a satellite NICU that has two beds. That's how small it is. This is the last move before his homecoming, and I'm thinking that it's definitely not too far away now because he just moved over the 4 pound mark.

Yep, that's right. Four pounds. Still less weight than a sack of flour, but that's cool because I haven't done those strength exercises I've been meaning to get to and this means I can use my baby for weightlifting. You think I'm joking? I did it with my Toddler when she was that small; it was a great bonding experience to get down and do a few leg lifts and knee lifts while bonding with the baby. Nothing too strenuous, but it was a lot of fun.

My little boy is coming home real soon now. Eep. I think I'm ready. Really ready this time. Stay tuned for the “what the hell was I thinking, bringing another preemie into my life, but he's so adorable” post. Probably around April.

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