Tuesday, January 03, 2006

wild woman
i'm a maiden no more
turned in my garland for a barley sheaf
motherhood in word and deed
i'm dancing up on the hill in the middle night
my child asleep in the leaves
blanketed by the moss
watched over by the spirits
i'm talking to my god in the darkness
strangers no more
buying my answers
if only i could remember my questions
they all change
don't want to know the whys
i want to know the future
i want to know that my babe will grow
i want stars to shine in her blue eyes
eyes that will not fracture as my own
i want her hair to shine
redgold curls that fall over her shoulders...
i'll buy my answers
in blood or gold
in faith held in the silence
hold her close to my heart

do not come to the hill tonight
it's not safe

1 comment:

Sarah and Jack said...

Hey there, ltnh. It's an interesting question, thinking about the birth of your child often still, that is. I have been thinking about that myself lately. In my case, I think the pregnancy and it's difficulties combined with the rough patch that was Jack's first six months left me with PTSD. After the screaming finally stopped I remember feeling so damn edgy all the time, like it was going to start up at any given moment and push me over the edge.

Normal perhaps? Maybe so, maybe not I expect.

I vaguely remember another blog with a similar feeling, her baby is called Charlie, he was a preemie, had the colic, the reflux, the whole bit. I will see if I can find a link.