Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Sleep and My Baby

Last night I tried the Ferber method. This, as defined by me, is subtly different than that recommended by the actual experts, and for the delight of my audience I'll let you in on the secret.

1. Put Baby to bed. After five minutes of fussing, check and console. After ten minutes of fussing, check and console. After fifteen, remove child from crib, rock gently and sing while giving her a bottle.

2. Congratulations for getting the babe to sleep by 7pm, the targeted goal.

3. 9pm. The babe awakens. She's pissed. Go in, try to check and console. After the first check, cave in and go get her, rock her gently.

4. She's not sleepy. Eyes are wide awake, and she is horribly fussy. Flip through the channels on the tv, trying to find something that will keep you awake and calm the child.

5. Meet the Fockers comes on. As soon as that little blond kid appears, she quiets. Watches the movie in fascination, and goes quietly to sleep when I lay her in the crib at the movie's end.

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