my depression ate my homework

No review today. Not because I didn't read anything. (Hah, as if!) Because I can't get my brain together for more than a few minutes all told right now. My hair feels all greasy and limp against my head. In 24 hours I'm going to be with my Boy. Emotionally I'm so confused right now that I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

There's got to be a better way than this. There's got to be a way to get past the borderline trait for "intense relationships, fraught with drama". Not that we crave the intensity that much, we just seem to need it in order to function. We've never learned how to cope with normalcy.

I ask myself how this is going to play out in the next week. How am I going to try to make our homecoming more "interesting", how will it work into the movie script constantly playing in my back brain?

I need to watch more old movies. I need to immerse myself in that Donna Reed, that perfect suburban housewife fantasy. That's the drama I want to be playing out; I want to be a good wife and mother that everybody can admire and say "there's a woman with all her shit together." I want my life to keep looking less like Girl, Interrupted and more like Shrek.

Um.

Without the green complexion and the gingerbread frankensteins, and all of that...