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Thursday, June 07, 2007

Parents have one thing that both makes them miserable and happier than they could ever have dreamed. Children. We put so much of ourselves into our children whether or not we intend to. Hopes, dreams. It's one of the harder truths, when someone puts so much of themselves into a project we can't stand to think of that effort as wasted. Maybe this is why "It's such a waste" is one of the more common phrases used in connection with untimely deaths.

The amount of effort any parent puts into their children is enormous. It is without price. It is something so innate to most of society that it's hard to conceive of anyone who would not think so. To use a semi-recent example, the amish schoolhouse shootings come immediately to mind. Any school shooting is horrific. This particular event was made more so because of the nature of the community and how they are perceived. Whether or not a given segment of society agrees with the choices the Amish make, we believe that they should be left alone to live their lives. Whether or not we personally believe in nonviolence, deep down most people believe that the Amish should be allowed to live out their believes. In a way it's similiar to the guiding principles of many other faiths: do as you would have done unto you...

How can we say that the effort we put into raising our children is not wasted? When we think of the sleepless nights, the vital and mostly disgusting personal care acts we must perform for our children- I can think of several Poop-a-looza diapers that fall into this category... we'd like to think that it is for something. If our children grow, if they are happy. I think happiness is the one thing that no one can ultimately control. You can take steps to make yourself happy, you can think for hours to find out what happiness means to you, and if you don't have it in your life all that work is wasted.

I thought I was happy before. Now I'm going to be a mother of two and a cherished wife. It terrifies me to think about my children, growing up, never being truly happy in their adult choices. It comforts me to know that my mother knows deep down that I am happy, growing happier every day.

1 comment:

Pollyanna said...

so true...