deniability

Denial is a powerful thing. It makes it possible for so many things to happen; as long as I didn't have an actual Homecoming date it was possible for me not to miss him with that soul-crushing intense Loneliness. Now I've got a date. Now I know exactly how long it is- mind you, it's not long at all. A very manageable time, in military terms. But for some reason my brain has turned to mush at the thought, and my stomach is a quivering ball, and I want to curl up and cry and cry because I miss my Boy.