my new crush

I baked bread today despite the sticky hot weather. Still, it's nothing like the summers I had growing up. More importantly, I went to costco this morning. And Target, even though we're not really supposed to go there (according to the PC police). I went, despite the PC police, because I read a review of a product in Redbook this month and I thought to myself, "Aha! Finally, my problem has been solved. I must go right out and buy this product."

My problem is that of chunky thighs. I doubt this is a unique problem, given the number of women out there who complain about it. My thighs are thin enough that they don't rub, except just at the top where they meet. That part gets sticky and hot and prickly and ICKY in the summer, to where I want to wear long pants all the time just to control it. I've been lusting after bicycle shorts in the private parts of my mind, because they promised such control of that icky-sticky thigh situation. Despite coming in bright, lurid colors. The color thing is why I never actually followed through and bought any. So I went to Target and picked up a pair of mid-thigh shaper underwear. They cost almost as much as my bra: a lot. But I figured it was worth it once to see, and if it does work I can happily lounge around in my sundresses, flowy skirts, and feel like a nicely modest little woman. (me-directed eyeroll).

I used the chart on the package to figure my size, sort of like with pantyhose. Then I went home and wrestled my chunky mega-monster thighs into this garment. It was brutal, although that's more likely due to being brand new and fresh from the package. Plus it's humid and extra sticky outside today. But as soon as I got them settled and adjusted properly... oh. my. god.

I'm in love. I'm going to take care of these expensive shapers. Yes, indeedy. I'm going to rinse them by hand in gentle laundry detergent every night, and drip dry, and follow all the manufacturers directions. Where have you been all my life? You smooth my chunk out so that that six-inch span of thigh no longer rubs when I walk. You eliminate panty lines- not an issue that I really have, but it's nice to know that you do this. You even squish some of the extra flab from my left hip up to cover the incredibly wierd profile of my radiation-stunted flank and waist, making it more even and less wierd.