Thursday, June 15, 2006

Mama's Soapbox

It’s a good thing that I don’t iron except under extreme duress, because in the past week I’ve put the kettle on to boil and walked away, promptly forgetting that it was on, at least 4 times. I’m fortunate that it has not yet boiled dry. I don’t remember the last time I was this absent-minded. Or, maybe… that’s because I forgot to remember it?

So I set up a donate button through paypal today. I have reasons. They won’t mean anything to the wider world, and I’ll be seen as just another money-grubbing blog whore. Okay. I embrace whoredom. If it’s going to help pay the bills and get us ready for the next military-enforced move that I’m dreading will happen this winter, I’m all for it. It’s not like I’m going to have the option of going out and picking up a job or anything if that does happen- let’s face reality, folks. I’m a preemie parent. She’s got developmental issues. Her trachea malasia means that the minute I put her in daycare she’s going to start rasping and they’ll be convinced she’s dying when she’s just a little congested. They’ll send her home. I’ll lose the job, still have to pay the daycare people… you get the drift. People have told me that I have a vague talent at this wordsmithing business. So think of it more like a hat out in the street while I’m scribbling madly away at a notebook. If you feel so moved, I thank you. If not, enjoy what you read and feel free to stay a while. Same with the e-books I’ve got up for sale over at lulu.

Yes, I need to spend more time writing. I need to finish the half dozen outlines I have saved under the bed. I need to go back to developing that creative side. I just don’t seem to be able to make the time right now this instant. My free time is carved out of baby wrangling, which tends to keep me pretty damn distracted. The down time when she’s napping are when I clean up and get stuff done and feed myself. There’s not enough hours in the day.

If I got off the damned Net I’d have a bit more time. Who’s to say that it would be any more productive? I might get more done in the real world, but I’d be badly isolated from the rest of the world. The Net is my coffee club, my book club, my way to gossip about tv shows and celebrities. It’s my neighbors. The dozens of mamas who email with the ease that our grandmothers used to pop down the block. I have friends awake whenever I am, in all the corners of the globe. For someone as socially inept as I am, this is pretty damn impressive. And I don’t have to be more than an armslength away from the toddler who by turns drives me batty and makes me glow with pride.

So I'm not going to be turning off my Net connection anytime soon... welcome to the 21st century. We're all plugged in, and very few of us are brave enough to pull the plug forever.

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