Tuesday, September 04, 2007

How do you feel about "stay and work at home moms"? How do you feel at the prospect of combining the two while remaining neither one nor the other? That's how I feel a lot lately. I can't be a real SAHM because I've got to make money on the blog. I can't be a WAHM because I've got to tend the Toddler while trying to carve out time to sit on the Net making money. Either way I get screwed by society and the Other Mothers who sit in judgment. My house is cluttered, I don't vacuum or scrub enough, and I sit on my butt most of the day instead of organizing playdates that I have no emotional resources to survive- and what's so wrong with preferring to be on my own most of the time? I'm an introvert. I have problems being around most people, no matter how much I like them. I shrivel up inside when someone pushes me towards playdates no matter how much I know it's good for the Toddler. Yes, I get it already. She needs socialization. Isn't there some sort of public service available I can call for that? I don't have the medication necessary to get me through it. I doubt that watching me lose my shit is going to help her socialize.

Whine, whine, whine. Poor me. I need to suck it up. Right now this second I am having emotional indigestion and cannot suck it up. Deal.

1 comment:

Pollyanna said...

I really doubt many other mothers are sitting in judgment on you, and I hate this current media trend crap that insists they are. I think most of us know that raising kids under any circumstances is really hard work, and trying to combine caring for your child full time with any amount of paid work is a pretty big challenge. Not to mention gestating a new one 24/7 at the same time! You deserve some breaks, and shouldn't have to feel guilty about them. Playgroups are great if they work for you and your kid, but I'm not sure they're obligatory. Some sort of "Mother's Day Out" program might be a better way of giving her some socialization while letting you have some time to spend on whatever is best for you.