Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Am I a slug or what? Last night I couldn't sleep, so today I made up for it. Kinda. Slept a few hours, completely oblivious to the world. And then it was afternoon, and time to eat again, and get the Toddler up, and go run a couple of errands on the way to get the Boy.

And I'm making lists in my head as I'm doing all of this: lists of what I'd like to have in the house when the baby comes, lists of what should come first as I scrape the money up for it- infant baby bucket car seat, crib, nursery stuff, diapers, a chest freezer and the food to fill it... I'm making these lists and I'm thinking to myself what are the chances that any of it will turn up in time? Lord only knows. But if the opportunity presents itself I should be ready for it, right? Right?

In about ten minutes I'm heading off to bed again, for another wonderful night of Not Really Sleeping. The baby is kicking, I presume, causing the most severe lower back pain I've felt that cannot be cured through careful stretching. It makes the region around my spine hurt. From the inside. My tummy feels tighter, which makes me happy, and it's getting easier and easier to give myself the injections.

The really nice thing about feeling so sucky today is that I am really feeling the support of my household. My mom is taking most of Toddler Care this week because I cannot summon the ability to move fast enough. My Boy is seeming concerned, telling me to sit down more often, get those feet up, doing what he can to take the load off so that I can sleep and rest and grow the baby BIG. Not too big though. Maybe all of 6 pounds big. Which is still plenty big when compared with the Toddler's beginning. I'm starting to get a sense for this new baby; learning moods and attitudes and pouts. Trying to fall in love with the munchkin now. I don't want to waste the time. I feel like I'm running low on time, and that's not a good feeling. I can't even explain it right other than how I just did. I'm running low on the time I'm able to spend with this baby in this fashion, and it scares me.

Stay put, little baby. Wait a while. It'll be worth it.

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