Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I'm still searching for validation of my choices. I should be over this, shouldn't I? But it seems that everyone looks for validation all the time. No matter how old you get, no matter what benchmarks of social success you enjoy, you're looking for validation that you are a Good Person. Whether it's in money or society; if you have material possessions you're doing okay, right? If you've got a ton of friends and acquaintances and can go out or call someone new every night of the week. If you get invited to parties and bbq's. If you have a new car every three years.

What am I? I'm a SAHM. I blog like it's a parttime job, with hours and coworkers on the Net. In the past month I have been enjoying a small but steady stream of income from treating my blogs like a job. A very welcome stream of income. Is this making me feel more validated in my choices to be online and stay home with my babies? You bet it is. I don't feel so lazy, I don't feel so guilty. I feel like I'm accomplishing something in a way that all my mothering of the Toddler does not provide. Which is ultimately more important to me? Meeting the Toddler's needs for education, for stimulation, for nearly every part of her day. Which gives me a bigger warm fuzzy at the moment? The Net.

I don't think I want to dig deeper into this now, but I probably will think about it lots more the rest of today and hopefully will blog more on the topic throughout this next week. Stay tuned to this site for all the latest breaking developments.

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