Monday, November 19, 2007

I've had pain for years now. I've lived with it day in and out, as I've shared before -among other long and drawnout tales of depression, motherhood, and how does it feel when your baby beats you up without meaning to. Before we moved to CA it was impossible for me to live above the first floor, because my knees just would not accept steps at the end of a long day in the weather. Cold, rain, they all bother me. Snow. Ice. Part of the picture comes from longterm side effects to the chemo and radiation. Some of it comes from a myriad of accidents and injuries sustained over the course of an accident-prone childhood.

What do I do? Do I live with it? How do I treat it? There comes a point at which the OTC meds don't really work to relieve the pain. There's a point at which you cannot ask a doctor to help you because they just won't- the pain isn't something they can see or diagnose, and they've medicated it before, and they think you're just a whiny crybaby addict who wants something they're not supposed to have. Screw that! I just want not to hurt so much I can't sleep at night. Is that wrong? I have enough problems with insomnia as it is. I'm depressed enough already. Chronic pain makes that worse. Especially when you know it's not going to go away. That you've just got to find a way to live with this for the rest of your life.

I'm entering a contest to win a year's supply of FreezeIt, which I tried off a friend the other week and which actually helped in a way that other things have not. I put some on my wrist where it got banged, and the pain went away. Imagine that! It didn't smell all medicinal. It felt good. You can use Freeze It Gel for sore muscles, sprains, shoulder and neck (lower back? Cause that's been hurting a lot more since this baby started shifting...) Strains. In short, all the ailments that come along with parenting a small and verbally-resistant child. Winning this contest will make my life as a mother of two with all those associated aches and pains so much better- a year's supply of this stuff... so cool. So Frosty, even. I hate living with chronic pain. I hate living with something that will take valuable energy away from my babies.

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