Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Meet Sadie Mae. Sadie Mae is a figment of my imagination; she's one of those Stepford Housewives, the sort that I never thought to see in my head. Note the frilled apron. There's a smudge of flour on the pocket, and a small rip somewhere near the sash because there's also a small child running around here who likes to tug at Mommy's skirt to get attention. When someone comes to the door, she hides her face in that apron and shyly peeks around the side. Just like in those old moves and books; the odd sort of thing that seems so precious but then you stop and think that hey- that's just toddler behavior and they'll do it if given the right setting.

I have been thinking a lot on Sadie Mae lately. The idealized housewife, the “ideal” that's still stirring in the back of my brain. Gives me something to do when I'm laying down and resting. Something to while away all those long afternoons and evenings. Call it what you will. Maybe I'm hiding from reality in this. Maybe I'm coming through something else and starting another in the endless stream of transformations. I don't know who I'll be in six months. I don't know who I'll be tomorrow, come to think of it. While the core of a person doesn't really change much beyond a certain age, the outer shell and persona can change in so many different ways due to circumstance. Every blessed thing that happens to and around us has the power to shift things slightly. A strong person brushes most of it off. A weaker personality doesn't. For those people this change is much more pronounced.

Having my Toddler changed me forever. Pregnancy changed me, motherhood changed me, staying home and economizing changed me. It's constantly changing me. I'm becoming more me. Less than what I was. Not ever less, always more, always different. I'm looking forward to what will happen in another week and month. What will the New Year bring us? Another day in paradise.

*don't forget to stop by my other blog, Living Green On Less. I'm trying to revive it and post more frequently, and remember that you can help support the site by visiting the Goldfish Cracker links.

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